Story concept brainstorms

[your_errors]

I found this old thread (2007) and I back again because I thought something similar.

Another 2006's post is here: http://forum.alientrap.org/viewtopic.ph ... 82c4e9d3a3)

Reasons for a backstory:

A. Advertising.
1. I often read short articles about Nexuiz and longer about other games with backstory. That's because journalists have more materials about talk (and some of them loves the copy and past to fill the page).
2. There is no need to include the story in some menu of the game. It may simply be a useful tool for communication and advertising (material for journalists who loves to be story tellers).
B. Uselessness, utility and some information disclosure.
3. A story is a story. As many researchers today say: you can tell or read a story for the pure pleasure of telling or read. Also because in that moment you have nothing better to do (for example during download?) A proof? Certainly I wrote this backstory because i had nothing better to do : ) That could be the same reason because you are reading this post : P
So no need to have an utility for the game itself, but can help it from the outside.
4. Someone could say "better download and play". I agree in part. After download, how many time for to understand that you can jump using weanpons? Or to understand that exists modes as "capture the flag" or "team match"? Perhaps not very much time. But isn't so bad to know it before or reading it during download. I found Nexuiz through a website talking of an FPS for Linux. Below a link to download. No more else.
5. A short story is not detailed and long as a tutorial. So it may be easier to spread in several languages, just as happens with true or false stories but not with manuals. Remember the old Japanese manual for your videotape?
C. What a backstory should not do.
6. If history is balanced between "a story with details" and "not to much details" leaves the game free to evolve on its own and there are not problems or limitations for developers. My concept of backstory does not change how the game is now.


Some help about this backstory?

1. My english isn't very good. Surely you can do something better.
2. Some better idea for the invention of the Nexuiz word?
Could be a true sentence, illegible but comprehensible, or a "false evidence" that in reality does not mean anything (thus the sense remains mysterious).
3. I forgot something? Game elements or other thing must be (I wrote it in late night)
4. I'd like some other word created by the synthesis of many different languages. Only two fixed rules: 1. Start from existing words 2. The result must have a good sound (easely better than mine)
Example A.
Genleky star (or Genleki). Polish, Lekki=light + Latin/English/Italian, Gen=generator/generator/generatore).
Example B.
Kindhel (or Kindell). German, Kinder=baby (or English, Kind) + English, hel=Hell
But I would not use words from the various religions (like "heaven" and "hell").
Example C.
Doiands. Romanian, Doi=two (or Portuguese, Dois) + English ands=Hands.
Need names of races, units of measure, planets and other good things you will find.

Any suggestion is welcome.

Edit: Note that the following story, along with your new ideas, should be synthesized in a shorter story, long about half (or less) of what you are going to read below.

A presentation for Nexuiz game; A backstory.

Near a few bright star called Genleky there was a planet named Kindhel where lived a technologically advanced and peaceful interplanetary community.
There, the Doiands, the Farastrus, and many others racial groups lived togheter with people from other planets sharing all the resources of nature and technology.
There wasn't a political command center but several interconnected Problem Solving Centers (rather technical). In particular loved knowledge in all its forms and looked at all the things (the arts as well as cooking and games) as a way to learn and enjoy the fruits of what they had studied.
Someone on the other planets thought that their curiosity was imposed by the fact that Kindhelians not remember almost nothing of their origins. In fact the first inhabitants of Kindhel were childrens from various planets survived an accident on their spaceship-school, which had plummeted over an uninhabited planet many millennia ago. It was difficult to survive in the hostile nature. So they called that planet Kindhel. They all knew to be descended from those childrens, but nothing before this.
A day, guided by their peculiar curiosity, during a biolocical research mission, the Dr. Anghe's scientific team found an ancient home built inside an underwater mountain of Kindhel. That very strange home containded a lot of audio, video, olographic and plasma documents, personal notes, tools and many containers with other strange objects; Strangely that home was mostly armored.
The team led by Dr. Anghe, discovered an unimaginable truth for the entire population of Kindhel. That was the home of an ancient inhabitant of the planet, or rather his bunker, where he tried to survive a nuclear, bacteriological and chemical war that took place on Kindhel millions years earlier. The memory of this war had been forgotten because of the very few survivors had not escaped the damage caused by the chemical war; Most became insane and many others simply did not can, or want, to remember those horrors. So even the survivors had not completely saved themself. They was from different continents and languages but the ability to speak probably went for the most part lost along with many other neurological functions. Also were the only priority of finding food and unpolluted water left on the planet (they used those elements to survive); There was no more place for the past because it had to think about the present time, hour by hour, day by day.
Now Doiands, Farastrus and other breeds of Kindhel knew that once they belonged to a single genre and that they were what remained of an extinct civilization: The human beings. So long ago Kindhel was called by its inhabitants "Earth" or "Gaia".
For that ancient visual documents shown, of all the people of Kindhel, probably the Doiands were those closest to the ancient human beings forms (at least most of them had two hands and two legs). This part of ancient human beings genetic code had remained inside their more than in the others but this was not really considered a value (if their ancestors were able to do those horrible things...). Instead the Farastrus was probably one of the first crossing between Kindhelians, or better New Terrestrials, and people from other planets.
Studies on this ancient civilization that was destroyed by itself naturally continued. Scientists were trying to assemble the clues and pieces remained. Even their biology was very different. For example, they needed elements such as oxygen (very much), and that was not more so diffused on Kindhel (and now Kindhelians knews why). So human beings could not survive in the cosmos without using equipment such as oxygen producers. They eat plants and animals but no minerals, matter from volcanic fumes or energy extracted from plasma.
Still some data was incomprehensible and, often, the scientists conclusions would have to laugh a real human being. Many questions had not yet answered. For example: Why this young human female is kissing a box full of detergent? Why this man breathes the smoke that comes out of that little white cylinder? Why was they used liquid called oil if they had a star that issued more energy? Why in this photo there is a well-fed human and the others seems so skinny? Really Genleky was so much brighter or there was another star in our chieli? And so on.
Soon the great discovery led to the creation of specialized studies centers of the origins, theories of various types, cultural associations, some funny fans club and the creation of several cultural events dedicated to "Our origins". Kindhelians decided to establish the "Origin Week", a world feast to remember the ancient phaters and mothers and don't forget their horrible mistakes and the terrible final war. A week of preparations in wich exhibitions of archaeological finds, theater and games preceding the great feast: the Last War Day.
Theater, as well as some artistic exhibition and games, often represented an imaginary reconstruction of those ancient horrible events; It was a way to process the pain caused by the new history of Kindhel. All the Kindhelians involved the Origin Week and in a few years the of Kindhel's games days became famous all over the cosmos.
Of course, game and his various disciplines could not play a real war, but had to give the idea of how can be horrible. Then it was decided to introduce some realistic element as the shape of ancient humans beings (using a holographic suit), reconstruction of ancient buildings and even a synthetic reconstruction of the ancient human's blood with his original color (in the founded videos they saw a lot). And what about the real reasons to fight? Certainly there were no reasons to do so and Kindhelians not used to give awards or create conflicts. So it was decided to give to the players weapons and suits of different colors and only those elements were enough to create the opponents, single or in team.
In the "Bad Father's Home", as they used to call the underwater buncker, there was a container where they found a objects without name. The sign on the container was ruined and only some part of the sentence was still visible: N*** *EX U.I. *Z*. Inside there were items that could kill some alien visitor but not Kindhelians who had a very resistant skin and bones. But the materials created on Kindhel naturally were much more resistant than the ancients armors so an ancient rocket could only damage a support but not the player. They decided to use those real ancient weapons and that strange sentence; Thus were born the Nexuiz games.
So players used hard armors. But this was causing a collateral effect: the great explosion that killed ancient human beings, now only effect for players to fly hundreds of time-cube away. It was even possible for players to create their own explosions to move faster. However it was immediately clear that this side effect was funny and was kept in the games (really to watch the players walk or run slowly as the ancient humans, for all the time, would have been somewhat 'boring). But it was decided to use materials that could withstand only a certain number of damage (otherwise you had to go on forever!). When the armor was completely damaged the player was taken via teleportation and rearm again (generally no one had to be eliminated that way, not even to pretend).
The game began to grow and soon split into various disciplines. Simultaneously the game fame grew everywhere and on many other planets became a real sport, with single professional players, teams and clans often specialized in some discipline as Capture the Flag, Death Match, Race and so on.
Every year on Kindhel, during the longest night of winter, subscriptions to Nexuiz games are open and free for all. But on some distant planet, or an old abandoned space station, surely someone is already playing!

[HarryButt]

galactic police/enforcers/government agents [...] for the government, we've got all of the police-like/human characters

Tia

I posted a female cop concept in this thread some time ago, but it got lost so I made this revamped version.

And I never got to read this thread It's gotta be fate.
Imo errors' story is almost too long and detailed. That's too much text for the average ego-shooter player.
Still, I completely agree with your points.

[your_errors]

Imo errors' story is almost too long and detailed. That's too much text for the average ego-shooter player.
Still, I completely agree with your points.

I agree the backstory i wrote is too long. But I wrote a lot about certain aspects only to extract (after) the best pieces and
suggest some idea to explore.
At the end of course will be shorter. I forgot to say it (now i'll write it to the previous post as note). I also hope that other
pieces of history come soon for to start a synthesis.
Instead about the concept of assigning roles to characters I think that could be too much weight for the game. I do not know
how imagine this. However, this issue is a programmers choise. My concept of backstory does not change how the game is now (Point 6 of my introduction).
Have you in mind a new game mode adapts to assign roles to the players?

[HarryButt]

I don't want to change a thing on such an awesome game!
Nah, srsly. It was just a cool coincidence. I suppose, when I'm finally finished with my portfolio I can get back to modeling and build some neat stuff.
The storyline should kind of adapt to what the game offers already. And, as you already mentioned, it doesn't have to be too detailed. It should be more of a nice addition to the game's athmosphere, and that's about it.
Like UT99's intro... It doesn't offer much information and you never hear of the story again. But it's a nice thing to have.

[Fisume!]

if torus could voiceover the final story.. that would be great!

[HarryButt]

I was thinking exactly the same

[your_errors]

Like UT99's intro... It doesn't offer much information and you never hear of the story again. But it's a nice thing to have.

About the video i probably can't help because with my ping and my hardware
I can' t extract fine game action videos with all the visual effects turned on. But I will
try the same in local mode and, if i will capture something good and clean, I will send a message.
Meanwhile I have made some experiment: walking slowly with the zoom view into the maps
I've seen beautiful angles views and a nice atmosphere.

[your_errors]

A presentation for Nexuiz game; A backstory

Here is a possible synthesis of backstory I had written above.
Of course, my English is not good and you can correct my mistakes.
I imagined that a voice narrating this story with breaks, changes of tone and so on.
So I divided sentences and periods. The rythm of narration changes by increasing or decreasing the number of sentences per paragraph.
Right now I used this rhythm: 5 short - 4 medium - 5 long - 5 long - 4 medim - 1 short rhythmic interconnecting - 3 medium. That means the rhythm is increasing-stable-decreasing.
Of course sentences could be longer or shorter than these, depends on scene.
Regarding a possible video, I imagined short sentences that comment short videos in sequence with in/out fades.
Edit:
At first, talking about the "location" screen could be simply black, or an imaginary travel between the stars or other you ideas you will find.
Of course I can only imagine without video material to watch.

Note: This version is without names; better with or without?
"Origins week" isn't still a good name because now the story changed: here humans beings are extinct. I'll replace with something better.
Other pieces from my first backstory to add?
Pieces of this backstory to cancel?
Other ideas?


Backstory

Many centuries ago,
in our far future,
near a few bright star,
on an inhospitable world,
lived a peaceful and technologically advanced interplanetary community.

The first inhabitants were childrens coming from various planets.
They were survivors of an accident occurred their spaceship-school,
plummeted over this uninhabited planet many millennia ago.
Or this is what they believed...

Many centuries later, in a subsea mountain,
they found an ancient building and documents by his owner; That was his buncker.
There he tried to survive a war occurred on the planet millions years earlier.
like any other forms of life, his body fell there.
Now they know once another genre of life lived on the planet: The human beings.

In order to remember that people and they're horrible mistakes,
they established the "Origins week", a period for events and games.
Soon their representations of "humans life end" became famous all over the cosmos
as a sport divided in various disciplines with single professional players, teams and
clans often specialized in modes like Capture the Flag, Death Match, Race and others.

With their ancient weapons resistant armors,
they jump boosted by explosions, launching their hooks,
climbing the walls, flying in the space faster than rockets.
No chance for a long life but use it for the best, for remember,
(long pause and short rhythmic interconnecting sentence)
for life.

Every year on that planet, during the longest night of winter,
subscriptions to Nexuiz games are open and free for all.
But started one second ago, in our far future, someone is already playing!


End.


Edit:
Right now there are 3 periods for backstory, 1 period interconnecting backstory to desctription of game modes, 1 period with a short description of the gameplay, 1 closing period saying the game is "free" (I had no ideas how to insert words like "open source" and "FPS" if not as note togheter with links and so on. You?).
Less backstory and more description?

[KillaGrunt]

Maybe "Nexuiz" Can be the ancient weapon they are fighting over (I like the first story better)

[take_this_cup_of_poison]

Since the nexuiz weapons are nothing near a nuke there is no way you would beable to take over the galaxy with them because you would also need to take over earth... and nukes would irradiate you with x and gamma rays first. You could take over the rest of the galaxy minus earth though... aslong as it's a dead universe (sans earth).

?Storyline?: super ballinatious people dare eachother who can take more bullets while they are drunk, they fight and kill eachother. Their families go to war over this. Other people join in because they're so ballzy. Soon many people are killing eachother. Sometimes in castles... fitting.

Storylines are not easy to make non-crappy.