Esteel look in your private messages

[Mirio]

esteel is a good player please ban him!

[esteel]

AT Corp..

Sure.. thats even the label on the electro gun.

I wonder how big the hole in my head will be when they see that i'm so bad that firing me is not good enough anymore..

[Ed]

@lmfao: Did you speak to our customer services department? Did you get a ticket number for this problem. Alientrap Corporation can only take action if you have a ticket number. Which options did you go for on our customer support hotline? The correct path for this query is to press 1, then 5, then 2, then 4, then key in your license number for Nexuiz, then press # to confirm. Only by this route can you get through to enter in a support request so that one of our representatives can contact you back to address the issue.

I hope this helps.

I P Freely
Customer Services Manager
Alientrap Corporation

[Ed]

I have just been down to Esteel's desk and disciplined him for this issue. I have also disciplined him for misusing company computer equipment for watching pornography on. You'll have to forgive Esteel, he's knew here and had to be reminded of our company policy.

As a token of appreciation of your continued custom, I would like to offer you a voucher for a free download of our next release. Please contact customer services and quote the key code I-AM-A-COMPLETE-TOSSER to get your copy activated.

I P Freely
Customer Services Manager
Alientrap Corporation

[Ed]

Press release - 16th of February 2009, somewhere behind a filing cabinet:
Alientrap Corporation, a worldwide leader in computer entertainment and jokes about mutual exclusivity today announced the employment of a cabbage into the role of Forum Administrator. Cabbage joins us from a background of sitting around on its arse all day waiting to get eaten. This skill profile makes him perfectly suited to ignoring requests by the kind of complete retards who keep on swamping our customer support telephone with requests asking for help with using their arms. This frees up our existing Forum Administration for other projects such as helping people who aren't completely retarded.

About Alientrap Corporation:
Alientrap are a group of evil corporate fatcats started in 2002. We are internet based, and our developers are never allowed to see the light of day. Our goal is world domination that while being developed by people who aren't paid, still makes us lots of money so that we get our bonuses. Stock market symbol ATCorp.

About Cabbage:
The cultivated cabbage is derived from a leafy plant called the wild mustard plant, native to the Mediterranean region, where it is common along the seacoast. Also called sea cabbage and wild cabbage, [2] it was known to the ancient Greeks and Romans; Cato the Elder praised this vegetable for its medicinal properties, declaring that "It is the cabbage which surpasses all other vegetables." [3] The English name derives from the Normanno-Picard caboche (head), perhaps from boche (swelling, bump). Cabbage was developed by ongoing artificial selection for suppression of the internode length. It is related to the turnip.

I P Freely
Customer Services Manager
Alientrap Corporation

[Ed]

Dear Mr Lmfao,

Fristly I hope I got your name right, I'm not a native speaker of Stupidity.

Thank you for your continued customer support requests. I'm afraid while we do everything we can to assist those customers of ours who have technical difficulty with our products, our records do not show you as having purchased a genuine copy of Nexuiz. The key you used when calling our customer services number was most likely generated by a key generator.

Alientrap Corporation has a very clear anti-piracy stance and has passed your details to local law enforcement so that they can lock you up, hopefully further away from me than you are currently.

To avoid this you can of course purchase a Genuine copy of Nexuiz correctly validated with the Nexuiz Genuine Advantage program. Please deal with this with the highest urgency.

I P Freely
Customer Services Manager
Alientrap Corporation

[halogene]

Let's try not to overdo this here. Though I have to admit that I really laughed my head off... *giggle*

but I think all this must be embarrassing enough for lmfao already, don't you?

/me wipes tears out of eyes while still giggling

[esteel]

He choose to walk that road

[mand1nga]

[Captain Haddock]